Joe Cwik dot com: February 2007

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Vader Sessions

Now this little Star Wars video is hilarious. Great audio replacement. It all fits.

Labels: favorite, humor, star wars, video

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

HA!

Kevin Smith at a Con, flanked by stormtroopers.

Nerd heaven.

Labels: humor, video, view askew

Awesome Fridge!

Great fridge, but I fear there will be a lot of foam resulting from this contraption. Still, I want one.

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

Labels: awesome, beer, geek

Monday, February 26, 2007

Fun for the whole family

97.1 fans, have some fun with the "Pie Hole" sound board.

Good times.

Labels: humor, wkrk

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Shit.

According to the printing on the plastic jug, my milk's going to go bad in 2.75 hours.

I better drink it.

Labels: humor, life, meh, milk

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Meh.

I've known for some time that it was inevitable. I mean, as time went on, I knew it would happen. It's been said by the Native Americans that once you are offered something five times in your life and you deny it each time, then your body becomes sick.

Maybe that's why I had the flu for the last two days.

Fuck it. Beer league tonight.

ONE PIN!

Labels: life, meh, sick

Blonde Jokes

A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt."

The brunette says, "Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of your cup."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.

The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

The blonde yells at the doctor, "I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A blonde gets a dent in her car and takes it to the repair shop.

The repairman, noticing that the woman is blonde, decides to have a wee bit of fun.

So he tells her that all she has to do is take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent pops itself out.

After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend comes over and asks what she is doing.

"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

Labels: blonde, humor, joke

Monday, February 19, 2007

Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

This is a hilarious video of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates battling it out.

Labels: apple, windows

Monday, February 12, 2007

Redneck Skydiving

A redneck wanted to learn how to skydive, so he got an instructor and started taking lessons. The instructor told the redneck to jump out of the plane and pull his ripcord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The redneck understood and was ready.

The time came for the redneck to jump out of the airplane. The instructor reminded the redneck that he would be right behind him. The redneck proceeded to jump from the plane, and after being in the air for a few seconds he pulled the ripcord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his ripcord, but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the redneck.

The redneck, seeing this, yelled as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Labels: humor, joke, redneck, skydiving

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Questions

Ok readers, time to bring back another topic from the past: If you could ask me anything, what would it be? I'll answer the questions in the future. It doesn't matter if you use your screen name or not. I'll eventually answer each question in some capacity, in my own time.

Have at it, fuckers.

(Old questions/answers are found here, here, and here.)

Labels: anything, ask, honesty, questions

Lawyer Dealings

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer.

"I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold; your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be 100. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls will rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "So, what's the catch?" he asked.

Labels: humor, joke

Stuck in my head

This song popped up on my iPod, and it's stuck in my brain. I'm attempting to get it out of my head. Enjoy.

Labels: hinder

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Eisley - Memories

I think this song and video are awesome. I need to hear more of this band.

Thoughts?

Labels: eisley, music, video

Perfect Husband

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and said, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me find a suitable one?"

The marriage officer said, "Your requirements please."

"Well, let me see. He needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. He has to be willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. He must also tell me interesting stories when I need companionship for conversations, or be silent when I want to rest."

The officer listened carefully and replied,

"I understand. You need a television."