Well, James and I went to a beer tasting at John Cowley's and Sons, and for $20, it was amazingly awesome. It was a very open format, where you could taste whatever you wanted as opposed to eveyone getting the same beer and sampling it, then waiting for the next one. It was a really good time. (You can read James' comments on the night here.)
But, we decided that we're going to head out to Ann Arbor for some Good Time Charley's on Friday night, and we are going to gather people for hitting the Bell's Brewery on Saturday. And somewhere in there, I need to hit Breaktime in Novi for some Underdog goodness.
That's it for now. I'm off to do some stuff while I wait for a call, then go to bed.
I'm home and now, I'm off to work. I still have way too much on my mind to think clearly, but at least I can sit back and say it was a good weekend. Thanks to Stepho and Garvin for housing me and the rest of the gang for hanging out with me.
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning, Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! No hangover! NO bad side effects, Nothing!
Then the phone rings...It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - nothing."
"We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well, there's just one thing...."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No....."
"Well, DON'T - 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!!"
-------------
Ivan was a dirt poor Russian peasant. One day while walking through the countryside he discovered an old lamp. He started to polish it and out came a genie who told him that for freeing him from the lamp he would grant Ivan one wish.
Ivan thought for a minute before declaring, "I am a poor simple man with simple needs, therefore I wish that Ivan pee vodka!" The Genie exclaimed that Ivan's wish was granted and disappeared in a poof of smoke.
Ivan runs home and bursts through the door yelling, "Wife, bring two cups...tonight we drink vodka!!!" He pees in the cups and sure enough, it's the best vodka either had ever tasted. They drink into the wee hours of the morning.
The next night he comes through the door and again hollers, "Wife, bring two cups....tonight we drink vodka!!!" This continues all week until Friday night when Ivan comes in the door and exclaims, "Wife, bring me one cup!!!"
His wife is upset and asks, "Ivan, all week you say bring two cups and we drink vodka, so why tonight do you only ask for one cup?"
Ivan smiles and replies, "Because tonight wife, you drink from bottle!!!"
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was at the beginning of my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the loudspeaker.
"Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee please!"
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement,
"Would the gentleman on the women's tee kindly back up to the men's tee!"
I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled:
"WOULD THE MAN ON THE WOMEN'S TEE PLEASE BACK UP TO THE MEN'S TEE!!"
I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the microphone and shouted back, "WOULD THE IDIOT IN THE CLUBHOUSE KINDLY SHUT UP AND LET ME PLAY MY SECOND SHOT!"
Detroit was actually sparkling and getting a new image when the Super Bowl came to town. The city is a shithole? Not so, in the eyes of people who came into town. Now that the national eye has looked elsewhere, Detroit's city council re-initialized corruption along with the mayor.
The Detroit Zoo is closing, unless it can be funded. What a shame. One of the oldest zoos in the country would close due to lack of funding, and it won't receive funding from outside the city because the council has an ego. Kwame won't discuss it because for some retarded reason, he's in Africa. (Way to spend our tax dollars frivously, you dumb bastard!) Either way, if nothing is done, the Zoo shuts down on May 1, 2006.
Does anyone remember the blue elephant keys you bought and out in boxes to hear audio about exhibits? I still have mine somewhere....
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Uuh unh."
RV Bloopers - This is great. Long, but great. I mean, I laughed and laughed. I wonder how much film they went through. (It had to be film due to the slate.)
Is there a fellow blogger you would like to snog / shag / do rude things to? Feel free to name names if you're game.
There are. But I think they know who they are...
Discover a blog. Link to a blog that you have recently found, or a blog you have been reading for a while and haven't blogrolled.
No idea qhat a blogroll is. Sorry.
Tag five bloggers to complete this meme...
Rev Harrison Garvin And two people who want to do this thing and comment saying they want the slots. I'm too lazy to pick more who haven't been tagged.
I've been reading some articles and some blogs lately, and I've also been dwelling on conversations I've had over the last few months. It all leads up to the general idea people associate with the recently passed holiday of St. Valentine's day -- relationships and love.
My questions to you all are:
1) Who have you learned the most from in regards to relationships?
2) Where do you usually get the best advice from on the topic of relationships?
3) What is the most important thing you've ever learned about relationships?
Please let me know and feel free to discuss it, fuckers. That's what the internet is here for. Information and discussion. And porn.
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
Impossible!" says the doctor "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
Can anyone accurately describe the taste of Red Bull? A friend of mine has never had it, and I can't seem to accurately describe it's taste for her. I keep saying it's kind of a citrus, but it has to be experienced.
Yeah, it's that day of commercial-forced-love. I think the same way I do for Sweetest's Day, but for those of you who have someone to spend the evening with, show 'em that you care. I mean, everyone needs a bosom for a pillow. Me, I'll be going to Screenwriting then chillin'.
Yep. These are the times. The times of excitement. Bowmp!
It's been a long day, and really, I didn't do shit. Had a good evening chilling around the Garvin residence, hanging with Stepho, Garvin, and Cat, and staying up much later than I ever should have. At least I did watch the sun come up.... I did manage to go to Matrix Games Oberlin and visit wtih the owner Josh, before heading to the local corporate Verizon store to swap phones out. (Sorry I missed you Erin!) I also picked up a great card game I'd seen in stores for quite some time, and never got to play -- Lunch Money.
Lunch Money is a great game where you beat up the ther players and talk smack the entire time. It's even got the "goth photography" look to the cards. It's amazingly great. Once you play a few hands, it's really easy and loads of fun. Make sure to have a few beers while playing and the smack gets to be hilarious. It's the perfect game for a small drinking gathering. Special thanks to the seasoned Lunch Money veteran, Vikki, for working out the details and settling a few card disputes. You rock, babe.
Tomorrow, it's lounging and chilling till I go to a local concert here, then its back to the L-town area for some sleep and an attempt to re-vitalize for the long week ahread.
So, I get down to Ohio for a fun weekend of debauchery (what could be better?) and I find out my phone's fucked up again. I'll be hitting another Verizon store to replace another fucking phone.
Same fucking problem. Dammit all to hell.
I'll have to do another check to see if anyone else has experienced this issue.
Insert rage here at phones, then insert great times for last night.
Giggety giggety!
Update: Phone was replaced. Let's see if this one fucks up....
Well, for the time being, I have to Flickr feeds kicking on this site -- the left bar for most recent images (same as before), and then the top bar, which randomly shows images from my public images.
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so remote, there was no electricity in the house. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so. The mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the new baby. The child replied, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again."
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great King from history: Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? A. Conception.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand
Q. What do windscreen wipers and laser printers all have in common? A.Both invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't go off? A. Honey
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's here we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's".
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is thephrase inspired by this practice.
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F**K with the other letters in!) (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
With Google revving up to launch GTalk in Gmail, they made a blog post.
While I find the idea of not needing to install the GTalk client to chat to be a great thing (many people still haven't migrated to XP and Gtalk needs XP on windows machines...), I find the blog post to be hilarious. I mean, if you don't get it, watch this.
And oh yeah, GMail will now log GTalk chats if you want it to. Awesomeness.
Anyone up for taking a trip to Kalamazoo for some Bell's Beer over at the Bell's Brewery? I think it'd be a good trip. And James, I'm itching to hit the Dragonmead Brewery soon.
Good game. I placed a bet with a friend, and she owes me a movie. We placed the bet when Seattle was up by three, and I even allowed her to back out at half-time. She stayed true to Seattle, if only for the love of her hometown team, the Browns.
Sorry you lost, Cat. At least you get to pick said movie.
And Garvin - You folded on your rant post-game. HA! It's ok.
Steph - It may be empty, but it's still a victory.
SCO - Right back at you. I hate you with a deep, deep passion too.
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 5,000-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) to fight terrorists.
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas troopers will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
There is no limit.
They taste just like chicken.
They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music or Jesus.
They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
And now, some more government humor, this time coming from the President himself. Personally, I think Bush handled himself well with that one. It's good to see that he has a sense of humor.
As you can see in this video, the Chinese populace got very irate when Hong Kong Disneyland closed its gate for the eighth day in a row, as they had reached maximum capacity.
Personally, I laugh. I mean, come on. These people are going to the park in droves, in the BUSIEST season for vacations. Did they not even fathom a park reaching maximum capacity?
Its what life is, really. I mean, you can't deny that fact. If you break down everything -- each word, each movement... you realize that each action is simple.
But, we make things more difficult. I don't understand why.
We complicate every action and word with combs of nuances and self-doubt, allowing us to warp simple actions into the strangest of warped idiosyncrasies. And we do this time and time again, even if it's only in our minds.
Why?
Human Nature?
It could be.
Every action, word, and movement is so very complicated as to its meanings -- its true intents. But, as complicated as these actions can be, they are in turn just as simple. Each action does have a meaning, and these meanings can be broken down quite simplistically, if I can make up my own word there. In these very simplified states, all of these actions and words are easy to deal with, and even elementary in nature. But, it's when a few or more of these simple things are combined that the vision is cloudy -- the real intent is obscured.
This haze seems to have become my nemesis -- The nemesis for which I will need fog lamps. Its time for all the things to be broken down, built up, and broken down again to really see what they hold. It is time I got what I want. It is time I got the credit for the effort. It is time to let everything settle and be read for what it is.
