Cinematic Moments
I've realized something in the last few minutes.
My perception of reality isn't exactly clear. As much as I can be a realist (especially in the last few years), I am still expecting those cinematic moments in my life -- the ones which are epic, even on a minute scale.
I'm thinking it's time for that realization to pass... but I don't know.
Do you have these delusions of grandeur?
Your thoughts?
Labels: thoughts
Wow. I have had very similar thoughts as of late as well.
I had thought like this driving home from work this morning.
I understand... I think.
I think reality smacked me in the face awhile ago. I used to wait for those romantic moments that knocked you off you feet. Or that specific moment when you are at the very bottom of it all and some miraculous event happens and all is better again. Yeah it never happens, to me at least. I hope and pray that it does actually happen to some one out there...
The psychopath I dated LIVED for epic, romantic moments. He would give long, flowery speeches to me and call me "Stephanie Elizabeth" because "that's more romantic." Then, when things didn't go his way he'd take a turn for nasty.
Even if his crazy attitude hadn't ruined "romance," I still find myself uncomfortable with it, mostly because 98% of the time it involves someone acting out in some way that is against their normal personality. That (to me) seems stagey and artificial. Even if the person doesn't intend it (and I'm sure that they don't----the fault probably lies with me) it's seems like they're putting on airs.
Part of the problem with big epic moments is that they only way we KNOW they are big epic moments is to have them in some way mimic something we've seen in a movie or read in a book.
Then again, I'm more practical than most ladies I know, and I guess romance does not often synch up with "practical."
Also, our lives do not pivot on big dramatic scenes. They pivot on events----many of my big "events" were NOT something I'd want a camera crew filming. I'm more influenced by day to day activity than I am by one single, perfect moment. Mostly because that single perfect moment really doesn't exist. Someone has to cough, or pee, or someone interrupts a dramatic revelation with "hey guys! Come look at these dogs doing it!"
That's just life :)
I seem to live my life with the sense that I'm going to "peak" when I'm VERY old (instead of only slightly old), like Grandma Moses.
Rock on, delusions of grandeur!
And, yes, romance lives...but those grand moments are usually on a much smaller scale than the movies show us. The trick is to look for those occurrences, and appreciate them then and there, however small their scale... (i.e, If I've had a pissy day and T-Man surprises me with a cup of tea...yeah, that's REAL romance! Fuck flowers!)
I like that everyone seems to focus on the romantic ones, but those are even fewer than the moments I'd been envisioning...
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