IRC fun
Various IRC quotes:
<.jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<.jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<.jeebus> never once moved diagonally
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<.Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<.Indidge> umm....nothing?
<.Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<.Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<.Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
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<.NES> I download something from Napster
<.NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<.NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<.NES> "getting my song back fucker"
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<.T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<.RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<.T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<.RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<.T-Wolf> you mother fucker
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<.DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<.DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<.DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<.DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<.DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<.Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<.DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<.DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<.DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<.DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<.Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<.Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<.Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<.PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<.PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<.quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<.PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<.PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<.Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<.Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
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<.glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<.content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<.glome> Who me?!
<.content> Yes you!
<.glome> Couldn't be!
<.glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
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<.MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<.goatboy> what?
<.MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<.goatboy> er?
<.MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<.goatboy> and?
<.MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<.goatboy> ...
<.MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<.goatboy> i dont get it
<.MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<.goatboy> bastard
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<.VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<.peng> ...
<.peng> what?
<.VolteFace`> oh shit
<.VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit
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<.UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<.UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<.Jock> o...k
<.UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<.UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<.UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<.UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
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<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<.Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
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<.Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
that is some funny shit there LOL
hilarious I love the first one. I wonder if they are true or are they made up?
they're all actual conversations. just stupid and funny ones.
Just the pick-me-up I needed!
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